Lauren Gudgar has taken to social media to share a heartwarming message for her daughter, Lorena, after the newborn’s death last month.
The former TOWIE star, 35, posted a soulful tribute to her Instagram Stories, saying she ‘longed for the day’ she would meet her baby girl, who died just two days after she was born.
Her post read: ‘I pushed you, realized you were growing. Longed for the day we would meet. dreamed of his future. Not only did I know you, I fell in love with you.’
Tragic: Lauren Gudgar has taken to social media to share a heartwarming message for her daughter, Lorena, after the newborn’s death last month.
Hours later, Lauren shared another post on her Instagram Stories, featuring just a black screen with a blue butterfly and a red heart emoji.
Last week Lauren showed a brave face after her heartbreaking loss to celebrate her daughter LaRose’s first birthday, which saw the reality star arriving for her little girl’s party in Essex, two weeks after Lorena’s death.
This comes after Lauren said she ‘blames no one’ for the death of her newborn baby, Lorena.
In order to better understand what happened, Lauren has decided to do a post-mortem since the last time she met him for ‘Final Goodbye’.
Devastating: The former TOWIE star, 35, posted a soulful tribute to her Instagram Stories, saying she ‘longs for the day’ she’ll meet her baby girl, who died just two days after her birth
Lauren told new! Magazine: ‘I plan to go see her soon to say my final goodbyes. At first my post-mortem was not going to happen, but I changed my mind. I think I need an answer.
‘I need more to understand why this happened. I don’t blame anyone, I can’t. It’s what it is, and obviously, it’s terrible. I would do anything to rewind it. I guess I can blame myself, but then I feel like it happened and I can’t change it.
‘I have to try and move on and accept it. But first I need to understand this. So I changed my mind about the postmortem.
Lauren said she was able to spend 24 hours with her baby in a special room, where she cried, kissed his little hands and feet and told him she loved him.
Sad news: His post read: ‘I pushed you, realized you were growing. Longed for the day we would meet. dreamed of his future. Not only did I know you, I fell in love with you’
She said that she is presenting the face of bravery for her daughter Laros, but she hurts the most in the evening.
She said that Lorena has a teddy with her now and that she has a matching teddy which she keeps with her.
When she says her final goodbyes, she’s going to swap them, so that she has Lorena and Lorena has Lauren’s bear.
Speaking to help others, Lauren said she is in ‘anguish’ after getting stitches because she has torn in and out.
Lauren announced the sad news that her daughter had tragically passed away on July 10 with an Instagram post.
Tribute: Hours later, Lauren shared another post on her Instagram Stories, which consisted of just a black screen with a blue butterfly and a red heart emoji.
Lauren’s water broke on 6 July and her NHS midwife Tamzin came to her home to take her blood pressure and listen to the baby’s heartbeat.
The TV personality was planning a second home birth without any drugs as she had eldest daughter Larose, who was born in a ‘perfect’, ‘wonderful’ and ‘smooth’ home last year.
Midwife Tamzin told Lauren ‘everything was where it needed to be’ and she waited for her contractions to start at home.
Lauren’s boyfriend Charles Drury took Larose to stay with the family so that Lauren could rest and she calmed down and fell asleep.
The next morning, July 7, midwife Tamzin came again to check the baby’s heartbeat and movement, as well as Lauren’s blood pressure and temperature.
Terrible: Lauren says she comes after ‘no one to blame’ for the death of her newborn baby, Lorena (pictured with her partner Charles).
Once again, both mother and baby were normal, and Lauren had no ‘pain or signs of labor’.
There were still no signs of contractions on the morning of July 8, so Charles brought Larose back and Lauren breastfed her because stimulation can bring on contractions, which works.
Lauren started having contractions and she called her midwife to tell her that Lorena was coming.
Tamzin came immediately to check the heartbeat, but was devastatingly unable to find it, despite having detected a ‘really fast heartbeat’ a few hours earlier.
She told Lauren she was ‘really worried’ and called an ambulance. Lauren, ‘in agony’ at this point, was in the hospital in blue light, and stood ‘screaming’ throughout the trip.
By the time she got to the hospital, Lorena’s head was standing out in what Lauren said was ‘the most painful experience I’ve ever had in my life’.
She and Charles were taken inside the hospital and shown to a private room, where Lauren gave birth to Lorena just two hours after contractions began.
Lauren immediately knew there was a problem because Lorena was not crying and a team of doctors arrived in the room.
Lorena was born with two large knots in her umbilical cord and a rope tied around her neck, threatening her life.
Doctors fought desperately to save Lorena, chest compressions and adrenaline for eight minutes while trying in vain to revive her.
The medical team was tragically unsuccessful and told Lauren and Charles that there was nothing more they could do.
If you have been affected by anything in this article, please contact the UK Child Bereavement Line on 0800 02 888 40 or The Lowry Trust on 0808 8026868.
Parents: Lauren and Charles are parents to Lauren’s first daughter, LaRose, with Charles saying their newborn looks like his older sister